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What My Domestic Violence Fundraiser Means to Me

Updated: Sep 13, 2023

"My boyfriend and I got into an argument one time. He got so mad at me, he grabbed a handful of my hair, and slammed my head into the car window. He broke my nose. I stayed with him another 3 years until I finally left" - 1

"He choked me at a party and gaslight me into thinking I was crazy the one" - 2

"My ex-fiancé of 3 years physically hurt me. Even though I left him, I live in such fear and I just want to end my life at times " - 3

"My ex-girlfriend used to wail on me all the time. I never hit her back because that's wrong but people don't realize it happens to guys too" - 4

"My ex-boyfriend sent me to the hospital a few times. I left him when he started to threaten our child" - 5

Using just numbers to protect their respective identities, the purpose of this fundraiser was to bring together a community of people who feel alone and amplify their voices so they know they are heard.

Domestic violence statistics, such as 1 and 4 women experience intimate partner abuse, are important.

However, I want to reach to you a stronger sense of awareness and urgency to this national crisis by describing this girl's blood-curling scream as her nose and face cracked under the pressure of her boyfriend smashing her skull into a car window out of anger.

Did that disturb you? Did that scene make you feel uncomfortable?

It should.

That's the REAL spooky sh*t.

In the 100 mile distance from Wallingford, Conn. to Long Island, New York, I have met dozens of individuals who have experienced violence from their partner. And that's just within those 100 miles. I wonder about my sisters in Salem, or out in Colorado and California, Louisiana and Atlanta. While I am blessed my fundraiser has reached almost half the country, there are still voices who have not been heard yet. Bodies that need sheltering and comforting.

Starting in 2020, this annual spooky-themed fundraiser is entering its 4th year. The concept of Sticks and Bones Boutique came out of the darkness the spring of 2023, with a mixture of my adoration for Halloween and the beloved nursery rhyme "sticks and stones may break bones, but names will never hurt me."

At Sticks and Bones Boutique, this fundraiser stands for:

  • supporting women

  • encouraging women

  • empowering women

  • addressing intimate partner violence in LGBTQIA+ communities

  • confirming that men's mental health matters too

  • providing resources to local organizations

  • raising awareness on the dangers on domestic violence

  • expressing creative freedom

  • having a safe space

  • inspiring hope.

I am beyond grateful for every person that has helped support this fundraiser and I look forward to another successful fundraising year to raise awareness on domestic violence!



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